My inspiration for writing this is a worship leader that battled cancer and claimed healing from God. After becoming fairly popular from his story and his music about his battle, it was revealed that he didn’t actually have cancer, but had been involved in a life of lies to convince everyone around him that he was sick. As the truth came out, the true battle that he was fighting was the battle with pornography.

This story of lies and deception has really bugged me since I learned about it a year and a half ago. Since the truth came out, the song this guy wrote has increasingly become popular. And this popularity in light of the lies surrounding the song, has really caused conflict in my heart as I’ve sung this song. It has really agonized me.

But tonight I realized this guy who wrote the song was really seeking healing from his ‘cancer’ that he was too embarrassed and ashamed to talk about. It was not a cancer of the body, but a cancer of the mind and soul. Pornography had infected him and was causing him tremendous pain. That same pain has hurt more men than any actual cancer of the body. And I can attest that God can heal men from this battle with pornography.

Now when I sing the song Healer, it’ll have a different meaning. It’s not just a plea for physical healing of our bodies, but a healing of our hearts, souls, and minds. Below are some of the lyrics from this plea for healing:

I believe You’re my Healer
I believe You are all I need
I believe You’re my Portion
I believe You’re more than enough for me
Jesus You’re all I need
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands

God, I pray for all men that are battling pornography. I pray that they will seek your healing and support with this battle. Nothing, not even a battle with pornography, is impossible for You.

This blog post is a test to see if Buzz will automagically pull in this post from my blog.

What are your thoughts on Google Buzz?

Preview Your Ballot

Like many counties around the state, you can preview your exact ballot online at the Champaign County Clerk’s website.

Candidate Information:

• US Senator
• Governor
• Other State Offices (e.g. Lt Gov, Atty Gen, Sec St, Comptroller, Tres)
  

Voters Guides:

Once again, I didn’t find any voters guides that were unbiased and impartial. The only voter guide that I could find online for the Illinois primary was from Illinois Family Institute (Champaign Guide). This is still a useful guide, though it is biased.

Personal Word of Caution: If you are voting the Republican primary ballot tomorrow, please consider not voting for Mark Kirk. Even though he is the predicted favorite, his voting records do not follow those of average Republicans. Please research all your candidates, even if they are predicted to win.

How about you?  Do you have any other voting advice, insights, or resources?

Location Aware Apps:

• AroundMe - find things near you
• Google - localized search, voice enabled, access to all Google apps
• Gowalla - track and share where you are
• iWant - find things near you
• Showtimes - view local movie show times, read reviews, view trailers
• Urbanspoon - get random local restaurant recommendations
• CoPilot Live - relatively inexpensive GPS navigation

Miscellaneous:

• Bible - best free Bible app with most versions - developed by LifeChurch.tv
• Wordpress - manage your Wordpress blog
• Photoshop Mobile - Photoshop for simple editing of your iPhone photos
• Remote - control iTunes on your computer from your phone
• ESPN ScoreCenter - view scores and game updates
• Walgreens - we use this to manage our prescription orders

Social Networking

• Tweetie - best Twitter app available
• Facebook - connect with Facebook
• AIM - instant messaging on the go
• Yahoo Messenger - instant messaging on the go
• Pandora Radio - streaming music to your taste - check out Rockin’ Holidays channel

Financial

• Quicken - financial account overview via free Quicken Online
• PayPal - pay people securely
• USAA - best online bank - deposit checks with your camera - transfer money live

Games

• Paper Toss - waste more time than imaginable
• Sol Free - best free solitaire games
• iBowl - like a Wii on your phone

Remote Connectivity

• TouchTerm - ssh client for linux sysadmins
• VNC - remote vnc viewer for screen sharing
• RDP - remote desktop for Windows

My office mate, Matt, currenly has 254 apps installed on his iPhone.  That’s more than the iPhone is actually capable of displaying on it’s home pages.  Anyway, I also asked him for his recommendations of best apps.

Matt’s Picks:

• Now Playing
• WeatherBug
• Grocery IQ
• Where
• Facebook
• iDig It - underground farming game
  
• Pocket Bible - read Bibles and books from Laradian
  
• MotionX GPS Drive - very cheap GPS navigation
  
• MotionX GPS - track your path along a hike
  
• Paper Toss
• Strategery - simpler version of Risk boardgame
  
• Pzizz Relax - take a power nap
• Hold On - hours of non-stop fun for the kids
• AIM - instant messaging

What are your favorite iPhone apps that you use at least once a week?

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask yourself: Well…How did I get here ?

Yeah, “How did I get here?”

Just one year ago this holiday wasn’t near as much fun. In fact, like most family holidays before it, it was slightly depressing. But this year I’m celebrating the holiday with MY family. Not just my parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and other assorted family; but for the first time I’m sharing that experience with my wife and two sons. Wow, that’s a great feeling.

Like the Talking Heads refer to, I do have a large automobile and beautiful house, both of which I’m thankful for. But, more so I have a beautiful wife and beautiful family (and a beautiful dog and two beautiful cats).

Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young helps me finish out my thought process with:

Our house is a very, very fine house
With two cats in the yard
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy
‘Cause of you

Thank you God, for blessing me this year with an amazing family! Your blessings are new every morning. Thank you.

What are you thankful for this year? Share your thoughts as a comment.

Well, below is a recording of my thoughts and insights about praying for my kids. Take a quick listen.

Click to listen to my prayer

How about you? Do you have any messy prayers for your kids?

Would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

What Do I Do These Days?

August of 2008 marked my fifth year of working for the National Center for Supercomputing Applications (NCSA) at the University of Illinois. I maintain computer systems that host lots of web sites, email services, distributed storage, and authentication services for NCSA. You may have heard in the news recently that we are now in the process of building the world’s largest supercomputer, which is supposed to go online in 2010.

While I enjoy my job, my true passion is my church, Grace Community Church. I volunteer several hours each week there leading our TechArts teams (sound, video, production, and IT) and also help lead and serve on our board (which has been a huge task this year). For the past year and a half, Grace has been networked with LifeChurch.tv, which is one of the most innovative and powerful churches in the US. This partnership has really excited me again about the life changing power of the local church.

Highlights From 2008…

In January our pastor resigned. He’d been the pastor of our church since long before I started attending 16 years ago. I helped lead the task of hiring a new pastor and leading in new ways during the transition of hiring our new pastor on July 1.

My dad went to Moscow and Siberia for a month-long mission trip in June & July. I was pretty proud of him, since he hadn’t gone on any mission trips for a few years due to his health. He spent a lot of his time training Christian leaders there from some churches he’d help plant about 18 years ago.

My Mom had both of her hips replaced this summer and fall. She’s been off work for almost 6 months as she’s been rehabilitating. Things have gone great for her, but it’s made for a slow rehabilitation for a lady that’s always on the go. Since both my parents have had both hips replaced now, I think I need to schedule an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon in about 15-20 years.

In September I became kind of a surrogate father. A friend of mine from church has 2 teenage brothers that she adopted a few years ago. The oldest one has been having some issues with her this year and they’d gotten to a point where she wasn’t comfortable with him continuing to live with her. So, R.C. has been living with me for the past few months. It’s been a really good experience for both of us.

Lessons & Growth in 2008…

1. This year I’ve realized a new confidence in how God has created me. He has created me, and that’s good. Over the years I’ve gathered a lot of wisdom, and as a result I should use it and share it. In the past I’ve normally kept quiet and not offered my opinions, but I’ve come to realize my opinions also come with years of experience and are valuable. I no longer consider myself a kid, but rather a man who God can use. I’m no longer afraid of greatness.
2. This year I’ve also gained a new level of trust in God. At church things looked almost impossible this spring. But, I’ve been reminded that I don’t need to have all the answers. Despite me not understanding all the details, God’s got my back and I can relax and not worry. If I’m following God’s leading, He’ll take care of the details and lead us to a new place.

So, anyway, that’s a brief look at God at work in my life this year. It’s funny how most of the excitement from this year was totally unexpected, but has been one of the best yet of my life. He’s still the Lord Emmanuel, God with us. I’m excited to see what new excitement is awaiting in 2009.

Merry Christmas!
-Bill

But, sometimes in my own life and those that are closer to me, I don’t honestly expect God to show up such miraculous ways. I get used to the hurting and brokenness that faces me regularly and have almost given up on the idea of God fixing those issues. I notice myself internally voicing the following kinds of things:

• “Well, that’s just the way Joe is. He’s been sexually abused when he was young, and he’ll always react in bad ways when he’s hurt or confused.”
• “Since, Mikey is young and been brought up in a dysfunctional home, I shouldn’t expect him to be as mature as other kids. He’ll always be that way.”
• “I’ll always suffer from the hurt and rejection from a couple of years ago. I just have to be tough and not let that hurt bring me down at times like the holidays.”

But, wait a minute. Didn’t I say that Jesus wanted to bring ‘hope, healing, and restoration to His children’? Isn’t He the blessed redeemer? Didn’t He come to seek and save the lost? Didn’t He come to bring healing and wholeness?

My king can bring healing to Joe, Mikey, and me.

Lord, continue to work in my life to bring healing and wholeness!

Merry Christmas!

Sony PSP 2000 - Piano Black   $155
Used about 1 hour till I confiscated it from him.  In excellent
condition.  Comes with opened box, battery, and power charger.
http://www.amazon.com/PSP-2000-Console-Piano-Black-Sony/dp/B000UA0LXQ/

God of War  - Chains of Olympus - for Sony PSP   $28
New in sealed box.  Never used or opened.
http://www.amazon.com/God-War-Chains-Olympus-Sony-PSP/dp/B000R3BN4M

Email me if you’re interested in either of these items.

Every once in a while I get a creative cooking itch that I just have to scratch.  Recently those itches have involved rice and cheese.  Tonight I wanted to explore what I could do to use up some eggs that had been in the fridge for a while.

As I explored the cupboards I imagined an egg and rice hash that had a bit of kick to it.  After exploring some recipes for ideas I began to create my new IlliMex Egg Hash.

INGREDIENTS:

• 7 eggs
• 1 cup of milk
• 2 tablespoons of Worcestershire sauce
• 3 cups of cooked rice (brown or white)
• black pepper
• 1 15oz can of corn, drained
• 1 7oz can of green salsa verde
• 1 16oz can of diced tomatoes, drained
• 2 cups of grated cheese

DIRECTIONS:

1. Blend the eggs, milk, and Worcestershire sauce in a small bowl.  Then cook the egg mixture as scrambled eggs in a large skillet over medium heat.
2. Add the cooked rice and a drained can of corn to the cooked egg mixture.  Add black pepper to taste.  Brown the hash mixture for about 10 minutes over high heat.
3. Once the hash has slightly browned, mix in the salsa verde and diced tomatoes.  Simmer for about 5 minutes over medium heat.
4. Top with shredded cheese and let sit for 10-15 minutes before serving.
5. Serve over toast.

Serves 4 people.

OPTIONS TO CHANGE IT UP:

• Try hash browns instead of rice.
• Use traditional salsa or picante instead of the salsa verde and diced tomatoes.
• Add some ham or sausage to the hash mixture.
• Add onions or green peppers to the hash.
• Add some Tabasco sauce for a bit more kick.

Let me know if you try this off the cuff little hash recipe. Or shoot me ideas of ways to improve it. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

2.009 is even lower than I predicted a month ago. I like it.

Sent from my phone.

We finally received our first of the new MacBooks at work today.  We’re considering making this our default, preferred laptop across the organization. So, I gave it a quick trial run for about 45 minutes.

First, how does this keyboard feel?  I think it’s a tad bit cramped.  The response of the keys is ok, but I feel like my pinkies are held in uncomfortably tight.

The screen seems fine to me.  Less real estate than I’m used to, but much easier to read than my 17″ high res screen.

The speaker response is very adequate.  A bit tinny, but fine for normal work use.

The track pad seems pretty natural - I forget I don’t have a button.

Sitting it on my lap, it feels too small for me.  But, I could get used to it.

The compact size and light weight make it nice for moving around the building easily.

The glossy screen is very nice when the display is set to bright.  But, if I’m trying to save power in a meeting by dimming the screen, the glare makes it hard to view.  But, again, I’d get used to it.

I plugged in the laptop to a projector in a conference room, and it worked exactly as my MBP does as far as connectivity.  Looked fine.

The entire machine just feels well made. While the keys look cheap, they work well. The screen is amazing and very rugged. All the metal and glass on the case feel awesome to the touch and yet extremely rugged.

The only problem I had with the MacBook is that my wireless internet seemed to be really slow. I’m not sure if that’s an issue of the MacBook or if we were having problems here at the office today.

Overall, I think it’s a great little laptop for typical users at our office. Some developers will still prefer the 17″ MBP, but it’s adequate for the majority of our Mac users.

For the past year and a half we’ve been lucky to have been lent a Leprecon LP-X24 lighting control console. This has been a really nice board, but now we’re needing to give it back to it’s owners who have another use for it. As we move forward with expanding into some intelligent lights in the coming year, I don’t really want to spend a ton of money on a new controller which could easily cost $3,500-$10,000. So, I’m exploring some options of replacing the controller on the extreme cheap.

So, we currently have 24 microplex channels and 5 DMX channels, all of which are non-intelligent lights (not moving or color changing). Adam Callender at Granger Community Church posted a while back about how they started into a High End Hog controller system by simply purchasing something like a HOG 3PC DMX Widget and controlling their lights using a spare computer running the HOG 3PC Software. This option appears to cost about $1200 $1,700 plus the cost of a computer. And presuming we went with a real HOG lighting console in the future, the DMX Widget would continue to be part of that.

But, then that got me to thinking, “Haven’t I seen some other cheap or free software for lighting controllers?”

Well, after a bit more searching online, it appears that we could purchase a lower end (no pun intended) USB DMX Interface for $151. This would let us drive a DMX universe using software like the following:

• MagicQ (windows, mac, or linux)
• StageConsole (windows)
• miniStageConsole (windows or mac)
• QLC (linux)

Below are two web sites that I found with some more details on cheap/free DMX control:

• http://www.chromakinetics.com/DMX/
• http://www.opendmx.net/

So… I’m looking for any input or experience with any of these cheap/free DMX options. At this entry price point, I’m just tempted to give several of them a try and see if they meet our needs. But, I’d love to get feedback from others who may have already gone down this path.

Several people I respect have expressed they are voting for Obama, but I still don’t get what they see in him.  Yes, there are several issues that I don’t agree with McCain or Palin on.  But, when it comes down to it, I’m deeply scared about Obama becoming our president.  I’ve struggled for months to understand Obama and I can’t find any peace about electing him.

Maybe I’m imagining this.

But, is Osama’s latest campaign artwork incredibly similar to the Obama-Biden campaign?

It’s a joke people.  Don’t throw too many daggers at me.

You can spread this viral video here. Would you vote for me?

Warning: This is a technical post, mostly to document and share my experience so others interested might stumble upon it.

So, I purchased a couple of new 1TB USB hard drives this week and have been trying to figure out how to best set them up for optimal speed and accessibility.  The latest setup is to connect them via USB to my Apple AirPort Extreme Basestation as AirDisks.  I’ll be backing up my laptops to these drives daily (I’ll share the backup details later), so I was curious just how fast I could dump data to them.

How fast should I be able to copy data to the USB hard drive attached to my Airport Extreme?

• 210 GB/hr (480 Mbps) peak from server - limit of USB 2.0 is lower than my gigabit network
• 131.8 GB/hr (300 Mbps) peak from laptop - limit of 802.11n

But are those numbers realistic for average write speeds?  I’m currently averaging about 10.5 GB/hr.

Somebody suggested that the Airport Extreme is limited to about 5 MBps (17.57 GB/hr).  This has something to do with the processor in the Airport Extreme (APEB).  Here’s what they’re experiencing:

• reading from APEB: 16 MBps
• writing to APEB: 3.5 MBps average and 5-6 MBps peak

3.5 MBps = 12.3 GB/hr which is about what I’m experiencing so far.  I have 4 USB disks connected to by AirPort, but I think this throughput should be for all drives combined.

If you have a USB disk attached to a network with something like the AirPort Extreme, let me know what kind of read and write speeds you are averaging.

A month ago I was also remembering how I’d signed up for the Navy ROTC program when I was a college freshman.  I’d initially applied for NROTC for the tuition scholarship that came with the program.  But, I ended up getting another full scholarship that didn’t require me to sign over my life after college.  So, after the first 2 weeks of college and NROTC, I began to question why I was still in NROTC and ended up dropping out of it before I had any commitment to our US military.

While ’signing over’ a few years of your life to a trucking company or to the military might not sound like your cup of tea, I think either experience could have been good for me.  I’m sure my life would have been both better and worse from either experience and I’d likely be in a whole different situation, better or worse, than I am now.

I really like where I am now.  It’s not perfect, but it’s good and God has definitely worked some big stuff in my life over the past few years.  I don’t regret any of the big life-choices I’ve made, but I sometimes just wonder how things might have been different.

God, thanks for leading me along my life’s journey.  Often times life’s choices are hard and unclear, but you are willing to offer us guidance and wisdom about such decisions.  Thanks so much for your guidance in my life.  I can’t wait to see what lies ahead along our path!

I’d do almost anything for my mom if I know she really needs my help.  If an emergency comes up, I’ll take off from work and drive 100 miles to go be with her at the drop of a hat.  She’s family and I love her.  And I’ll do just about anything to help my family when they’re in serious need.

As an unmarried, only child, my physical family is pretty small.  But, as a child of God, my family is ginormous. God asks us to live life together as a family and share and help one another as need arises.  Unfortunately, either I often don’t see the needs of my family, or my family doesn’t express their needs to me.  But, I know various people in my family are hurting and needing help.  How can I better realize their needs and help them in both practical ways and lifting them in prayer?  I want to grow in this area.

Last week my mom had several physical needs and I took off several days from work to help her and be at her side.  About the same time, I learned of 3 families at church who had deaths of close friends and family.  And I also learned about 2 marriages that were going through some pretty rough times.  Normally I’d probably say a quick prayer for these situations, but this past week God has somewhat broken me over these hurts and needs.  I’ve actually spent many different times praying and crying over these hurts and needs of my ‘family’ members.  It’s been an eye and heart opening experience to be broken by these hurts.  I want to continue to grow in noticing and helping my family.

Lord, continue to work in my life so that I’m broken when my family is broken.  Help me to notice when my family is hurting and broken.  Help me to grow in my willingness and passion in practically praying and assisting when my family needs help.  And, continue to lift up and strengthen these 6 groups of people in my family.  I especially ask you to bless these 2 troubled marriages, as well as 2 others that came to mind tonight.  Touch them in a mighty and miraculous way as only you can!